The confusion of fashion

11/set/2017 10:47:27 stylecaster Contatta l'autore

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What do Chur Bay, people with long toes and digital disruption have in common? Nothing.

All three have different cultures and different histories, but every one of them came before me in the space of a few minutes of postprandial family interaction the other evening.

This synchronicity of three very significant sayings touched my soul with a deep feeling that told me, here at last, was the answer to that eternal of all questions, why, where and what.

Why Chur Bay, where is Chur Bay and what the hell have long toes got to do with it? As for digital disruption, that’s about pulling your finger out and getting on with things, but don’t do it too quick.

Chur Bay was printed on a T-shirt my eldest received from his bro. Not a cuzzie bro but his actual, real bro. I can’t find Chur Bay anywhere in New Zealand or on Google maps. It must exist ’cause it’s on a locally made-in-China T-shirt. Then, nek minute, we were into long toes.

Don't tread on their toes

According to my good friend who knows these things, apparently it’s not that people with long toes actually have long toes, but that, if you tread on them, they get offended very easily, the people with the long toes that is, not the people standing on them. So they get sore toes!!!

Dah. I am missing something here. Sounds double Dutch to me. As for digital disruption, apparently, that, like Chur Bay has been to whanaungatanga, is going to be next “big thing” in health according to the Ministry’s DAB (D as in digital, not T as in totalisator, Advisory Board).

Only problem is that, ever since personal computers came on the scene in the 1980s, digital things have been disrupting our nice little analogue world in a very big way which suggests that either the ministry has figured out that history repeats itself or they have finally clicked to the fact that GPs use PCs.

'I hate fashion'

I hate fashion, any fashion, not just in words, but more so current fashion which presupposes that out-of-date fashion is still fashion, only how can you have fashion that is not “in”.

I still get confused when buying jeans as to whether bell bottoms are in or out, and I do not want “boot tops”.

As for house colours, the current colour fashion drives me to tears. I blame EL James for inflicting 50 shades of grey on our society which means that the only colour in floor tiles for our new atrium (that word has such a nice poncey ring to it - vastly better than front door) have no colour at all, being either white, black or every shade in between.

To make it worse, the marketers then dream up names like “warm grey”. That is just dressing up hogget as lamb and no label will make it attractive. Fashion!

The fashionable health hub

Health is plagued by word fashion. Locally, our PHO has started up a health hub. In the olden days, we would have called it a health centre, which is a term with a lot of scope. However, if we were to be fashionable, we’d call it an integrated family health centre which of course poses the question about where do people without a family go?

Where do the solitary, the family-less and the childless go? To a dis-integrated health periphery perhaps? Do you have to be healthy to go to a health centre?

Look, I know that by the time most of my patients get to see me they are either cured or in hospital, but where do the unhealthy go? To an unhealth centre? May I should make a complaint to the Human Rights Commissioner. Fashion and equity are interesting bedmates.

Of course, if we had a proper health centre in Blenheim, then it would have to have, at its very middle, a dead centre which is next to impossible as the real dead centre of town is about 7km outside of town, to the west, in Fairhall, which therefore makes the dead centre of town the town periphery. Very confusing, if you ask me.

So we call it a health hub. That is in vogue, whatever that is. But how can you have a health hub when you haven’t got any health spokes or even a health rim, for that matter? You see hubs on their own aren’t hubs. They need spokes and rims. How can you have spokespersons without spokes? Can they be spoken for without spokes? Maybe we need a bespoke solution to this problem. Groan.

Ah, the beauty of language and fashion. Clear as mud. As the Dutch say, you just can’t make chocolate from it, or should that be cheese. Chur bro.Read more at:plus size wedding dresses | short wedding dresses

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